Can You Blame Her?

5/13/2006

04:17 PM
Logfile from GarouMUSH.

Currently the moon is in the waning Full Moon phase (94% full).
It is currently 16:06 Pacific Time on Sat May 13 2006.
Currently in Saint Claire, it's a sunny day. The temperature is 63 degrees Fahrenheit (17 degrees Celsius). The wind is currently coming in from the northwest at 6 mph. The barometric pressure reading is 30.18 and steady, and the relative humidity is 33 percent. The dewpoint is 34 degrees Fahrenheit (1 degrees Celsius.)

Odeon - Theatre(#3973RA)
The floor sticks to one's shoes like flypaper, and the seats all sag limply under even the slightest pressure. It's dark and dank with the evaporation of untold unknown liquids, and sounds echo menacingly off the soundproofed, honeycombed walls. The theatre is like a giant abandoned hive filled with row upon row of empty egg sacs; about a hundred of them, arranged in two columns, with three neat walkways, one through the middle and one on either side. High up and inset over the lobby doors is the projectionist's booth, a small alcove overlooking the theatre; opposite it is the screen, framed by ratty curtains that no longer close, and taking up most of the wall. It can no longer serve it's purpose, though: the screen is no longer blank, scrawled across it, from top to bottom, is a disconcerting mess of fluorescent grafitti which glows out bright oranges and greens even in the dark theatre. Like massive glowing worms the lines coil in and out of tags and outlines of images, in a roiling, reeling, psychedelic nightmare. The hundred empty seats all point towards it, mute and dusty.
Contents:
Masao
Squeaks
Obvious exits:
LObby  Alley  

A clatter of metal against the harder part of a seat arm follows with a loud whining, mini-crinos scream. Squeaks is in a tantrum. And yet, Yi is not in any form outside of her breed, watching the little monster go somewhat ape. "Squeaks... Calm Down..." speaks the fostern quite blandly, even though she visibly looks tensed and ready to jump.

The scream is almost a summons, or so it seems when Masao's head appears tentatively in the door. Weary-looking eyes are snapped wide in concern as she looks to see what the ruckus is about. "Yi? What? I jus' came in and...." she calls out lightly and eases herself through into the theatre.

Yi ducks as a second can goes flying towards her, and now she's just annoyed. A muttered Cantonese curse follows, as the fostern drops down and away to pick up the battered can. "She is probably feeling the moon," Yi answers the younger ragabash, brushing off the cheap dog food container. "Can you blame her? Being confined to this space day in and day out." The fostern gestures to one of the back row seats, like she were offering shelter from the screaming storm.

Masao blinks quickly and seems to shake something off with a toss of her head. Taking some sort of defensive posture behind the back row, she peeks over it warily. "If she's feeling the moon, I'd hate see her when she gets older. What started alla this?"

Yi holds out the dog food can. "She wanted to open it herself, but..." She winces as Squeaks roars angrily and tears into the rest of the cans, five in all, banging them on the ground, biting into them, scratching at them. "A theurge with an unsolvable puzzle is a scary thing, to be true. Did she wake you?"

Masao shakes her head and winces as well, brightening up her expression to one that doesn't look quite as tired. "Nah. Wasn't that tired anyway. S'not like it'd be easy t' teach her how to use a can opener...."

Yi continues eyeing the other ragabash a little, squinting at her. "Are you ok? Your skin looks pale," she comments. "I mean... well you know what I mean." Somewhere from some pocket, she extracts a small lighter and gets a small flame going to provide some light.

Masao waves a hand in a dismissive gesture and smiles, shifting position a little to lean on the seatbacks. "I'm peachy, really." she says with perhaps a little too much enthusiasm, "Haven't been outside and gotten my daily dose'a sunshine, that's all."

Yi makes a noise that betrays her suspicion of the ragabash's claim, but doesn't make more of it. The light is extinguished, and with it seems to go Squeaks' tantrum. The metis cub chews away at the rim of one of the cans, finally having pierced the top with her sharper fangs. "Have you..." The question starts and then halts. "Have you gone to see Basil?"

Masao relaxes a bit as the light goes out, though she tries her best to keep reasonably alert-sounding. "I have. Twice. Before the punishment." she says with a guarded reluctance in her softly spoken words.

"Did he say anything?" Yi's words are even softer, if but a whisper now. And yet, it seems so loud in the sudden drop of silence in the theater.

Masao's first response is a sigh, full of weariness, sadness, and a strange bit of relief. "Depends on what you want to hear. The first time, I was torn and broken and, y'know, wanted to know why. Why? Love." she says over the sound of rustling cloth as she sinks a little down behind the seats. "I couldn't deal, ran away. It hurt too much." A little silence follows before she speaks again, "The second time...was healing. He told me he wouldn't tell the Philodoxes anything about what happened. Kevin did. He...he accepted that he had done wrong and would take whatever was dealt him. So calm. Then, he just listened to me. About lotsa things. Gave me a chance for the last good nap I've had for a while..." she stops there abruptly, as if having not meant to say that last sentence.

Yi listens with a few nods. Her hands turn the dog food can over and over, but otherwise she sits in silence. When the stop comes suddenly, she glances to the young newmoon, brows lifting. "Stress?" It's an innocent inquiry.

"Somethin' like that, yeah." Masao replies quickly, shuffling a bit in the dark. "Busy head, hard to turn it off sometimes." Picking at one sleeve, she lifts her head at the metallic sounds coming from Squeaks' direction as she makes more headway on de-canning her meal.

Yi sighs and slips further back into her seat. The quiet drags on, punctuated only by more punctures and squishy canned meat noises coming from Squeaks' direction. "Have the philodoxes talked to you yet?"

Masao gives a small, wry chuckle and shakes her head. "Not yet, no. At least, none of 'em have come knockin' at the door." she says, the turn of her head directing her voice back over to the Fostern. "I take it they talked to you? I been expectin' just about anythin'..."

Yi clears her throat, sounding like it's her turn to be awkward. "They have," she replies, still facing the damaged silver screen. "They heard about my past, about Renee and how I had kept her secret... about Squeaks." The fostern narrows her eyes a touch, her tone also lowering, "But that should not affect their decision in this case." A quiver in her tone betrays the urge to growl about it, but it soon fades off. "Masao. I am sorry about this."

"Why? Why should you be sorry for what I chose to do?" Masao says, her own words gently questioning, "I could've -not- followed you after Kevin. I could've gone around you and killed him before -or- after I realized the truth. Not once did you tell me to do a single thing." There's a bit more rustling as she gets to her feet and leans against the seats again. "I made a choice all my own. So it cost me a little innocence and naivete...perhaps more, but it was my choice."

"But, I am your elder," Yi asserts. "What I do reflects onto those beneath me." She runs a hand through her hair, exhaling with a long sigh. "What would you have done, if I had killed him? If I had gone to kill Basil, after?"

Masao lets silence follow that for a long moment, then gives a small grunt. "Then? I prolly would have helped you. Hated myself for it later, but I would have helped." Slowly, she starts to thread her way towards Yi as she talks, "You are my elder. I recognize that and respect it and you. Just as what you do reflects on me, what I do reflects on you. Put two mirrors in front of each other and the reflections echo beyond sight. The only way to stop that is to break one of them."

Yi smiles mildly, though her expression might be lost in the dim light. "Sometimes I think I am getting old already," she offers with a quiet laugh. It seems Squeaks has figured out her little method of extracting canned meats. The rats appreciate the effort, given the sheer number of them that have come poking their heads out of their holes to nibble at the bits dropped. The fostern sits up a bit more in her chair, and then finally turns her gaze upon the other no-moon. "Call me crazy, but some days I am so very happy that I was rited as a Bone Gnawer."

Masao gives a small chuckle as she nears, arms folded over her chest loosely. "So'm I. Never felt like I fit anywhere but here and I haven't been sorry. Still not sorry. Guess we're both crazy?" she offers with a bit of amusement.

"In a mad world, it is madness to be sane," quotes the fostern thoughtfully, turning her eyes back to the metis. "No matter what comes, Masao... I was thinking. We should start questing for Coyote, soon."

Masao comes to a stop nearby and tilts her head towards the other ragabash, "Really? Well, time waits for no one. Didja have a 'when' in mind?" There's a noteable excitement in her voice, slight at first but growing gradually as she mulls it over.

Yi blows out a heavy exhaustive exhale. "Vera had said she knew the Rite of the Totem. But..." Her hand curls around the arm rest's end, fingers squeezing in distaste. "Still, what sacrifices might need be made to ask her, I will do if we have no other option. When... I am not sure yet." She quickly glances back over. "Not with the halfmoons still deciding what is to become of us." She sighs again at that.

Masao wrinkles her nose and gives a gusty sigh that is thick with impatience. "Sometimes the waiting is more torture than knowin'. Just gotta hope they make what'll be, in the end, a good choice." The chittering of the rats, a familiar sound, seems to ease the annoyance that wants to join her voice. Listening to them, the young newmoon speaks a bit more softly, almost murmuring in a distracted fashion, "Can't be worse than my dreams..."

Yi gazes sidelong at the no-moon, canting her head towards her. "Dreams?" she queries, leaving the question quite open for the other ragabash to expand upon.

Masao starts a little and makes a spluttering sort of noise, "Didn't realize I said somethin'. Guess that cat's outta the bag." Raising a hand to ruffle at her hair, she gives a slight frown and sighs. "It's confusing, as dreams can be." she says, moving to take a nearby seat and prop her feet up on another within reach. "Haunting, too. I see it every time I get asleep enough to dream...or pieces of it."

"Maybe your mind tries to tell you something?" Yi suggests, perhaps not so helpfully. "What kind of dreams are these?" Curling up a hand, she ticks off her fingers, counting, "I have had dreams of my childhood, and dreams of my cubhood. Dreams of my Rite of Passage, and dreams of times since then." She pauses on the last digit, lips wetting. "And food. Food is always nice."

Masao chuckles at the last and smiles, leaning her head back to look up at the theatre's ceiling. "Mostly the same stuff as what you said...though cubhood, Rite, and everything after is such a short time. So much of it is still fresh." she says musingly, "My mind -could- be telling me something, this was so different. I dream-woke here, but it was more like the theatre I saw when I talked to the spirits after my Rite. Beautiful and grand. I walked out into the most perfect day I've ever seen in this city. Walked to the park and watched the fountain, all without incident. Then Basil showed up..." she trails off, moving her hand from her shaggy head to tap at her lips.

Yi, curiosity drawn in, listens intently. But rather than break the ragabash's reverie, she waits for her to continue, or to fade off. In place, the fostern tilts her head another way, her expression going pensive, gears clearly turning.

"He put his arm around me, I leaned against him. Was like usual, or before everything happened. We've always been close, I didn't think anything of it." Masao says softly, fingers resting on her chin as she continues to look up. "Then...he asked me to leave with him. Not the park...the whole Sept, the state, everything. Said we could go somewhere and be ourselves." her voice cracks a little before she pulls her composure back together. The dim light hides the majority of her wistful expression. "When I refused, saying I was happy here, that this was my home, he withdrew and said he'd go ask Kevin. I snapped at him and asked if he was leaving because I wouldn't break the Litany for him." Here she chuckles darkly and her shoulders shake a little. "He said it would be wrong to take me from my 'little bubble', that I chose to 'embrace the safe and comfortable'. That I don't have the courage to take what I want." She starts to add to that, but shakes her head and covers her mouth a moment.

Yi utters a short 'hm', not oblivious to the emotional wavering of the girl's voice. "With your past, I would not say it was something safe or comfortable," the fostern observes, her own tone covered with a thin sheen of warmth around the consideration. "Can it be just the doubt inside? The questioner doing the questioning? So is our auspice like such a way." She glances over, giving the other a sympathetic and understanding look.

"Perhaps...but it went further than that." comes Masao's unsteady reply, eyes widening a little, "Basil grabbed me, wouldn't let me go. The sky around him darkened, shifted, and he pushed me back at where we'd sat. THen everything shattered and I was in a cell...with no way out." She swallows sharply, almost audibly in the pervasive quiet. "It was closing in on me, and Justin, Leslie, and Blackriver were outside it as the cell became bars. I don't like being caged, trapped...anything like that. They mocked me, looked down on me, took my pleas for freedom and my words of desperation and threw them back at me. Justin named me a failure and said failures go to hell. That's when the floor started sucking me in. Then the bars and ceiling turned to silver." Turning her head to the side, she looks towards Yi to make sure the other newmoon is real before saying the last bit. "I refused to believe that their decision to, well, 'purify' me as they sought to. My Rage took over and I got free to rip the lies from their twisted, mocking throats."

Yi's brow furrows more and more with each turn of the dream turned nightmare. In a way, she looks just as much disturbed by the retelling. "I wonder what that is supposed to mean," she comments following the other newmoon's talk of Rage and ripping away throats and lies. Her shoulders hunch and shift with that unnerved feeling, and then she shakes her head quickly and pushes up to her feet. "It was just a dream, though," she adds as a reassurance. "Right?"

Masao rubs at her face with her hands and sighs, "I think so. I mean...I don't think I've killed anyone lately. Honestly, I haven't been sleepin' much since then, so everything kinda blurs." Holding her hands up before her eyes, she turns them over and back again critically. "I swear I can still feel the silver sometimes. I just wish my head would be quiet so I can dream something -normal-. Rainbows and bunnies would be nice..."

Yi chuckles weakly and holds out a hand to the other ragabash. "Rainbows and bunnies are not my specialty, but I think a good cup of coffee and some chocolate doughnuts are almost just as nice." It is an invitation, naturally.

Masao manages a smile and takes the hand, getting to her feet. "Coffee. I think that'll keep this at bay a little while longer. Doughnuts just make it even better."

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